Masking the Minds of Faithlessness

"I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and i may have faith so great i can move mountains. But even with all these things, if i do not have love, then i am nothing. I may give away everything i have, and i may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But i gain nothing if i do not have love. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Loves does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always remains strong. Love never ends."

I can remember the day I opened up to this book for the very first time to read this. At first, I thought that was exactly how I was treating others. I looked around and unknowingly judged those who did the littlest things wrong. In my head I laughed a little, and told myself that I could do better. When those closest to me wronged me so much that it hurt, I became upset and rude. When my boyfriend went out with his friends (while he was off at college) I could not control the jealousy I felt. When I received something valuable, I would become selfish and did not share my gifts with others. But I had the idea that I was a good person ingrained in my head, that that was all the reassurance I needed, and I immediately closed my ears to the one voice that mattered the most...

I can't even guess the number of times I use the words "I love you" in a day. It is a limitless value in which has become something I just say, and something I do not feel. It became a meaningless statement I simply attached at the end of my conversations. Because it seemed like a good thing to say. The direction of my life has pulled me everywhere, from my lowest- some things I won't openly mention (yet), to the highest-the day I accepted Jesus into my heart. It has drug me from California to Wisconsin and then to Texas. The days I need love the most, are the days in which I don't find it essential to find it within myself to show others. I can sit here and say I'd do so many things for anyone, I could sit here and give advice to an endless number of people, but it wouldn't mean a thing if I did not love that person as I love myself.

Over the past year I've realized what love really is. It's not just a feeling, a passion, or a word... It's something more than that. I hear a lot of my friends say they would die for their boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend/friends, claiming that the simple gesture of dying, is love. But why stop there? Why limit your love to just the people you like? Real love is dying for anyone, friend or foe. Right now, I'm even thinking to myself that there's no way I'd die for so-and-so or such-and-such, but when it came down to it, I mean really came down to it, God has put it in my heart that that is one of the many things I am called to do. I have struggled so much these past few months with the concept of love. And my lack of showing and understanding had become so apparent to me, that I could avoid it no longer.

My "love" for people had become stronger when I received more from certain people. And the more I received, the more I "loved" them. I hear all the time from my peers that "Oh he got you -insert really expensive gift name-, he must really love you!" The point of love shouldn't be based on what you receive from someone, it should be how you can help them (how you can make them happy) and not yourself. Love is about sacrifices.

Yesterday I had a friend, who is engaged, tell me that she had fallen in love with another man (obviously not her fiance). The thought made me angry, because having a boyfriend that I deeply care about with all my heart, mind, and soul, I knew that there was no way on this planet that I could fall in love with him, get engaged to him, and then changed my mind so quickly. She told me how this boy didn't like her, and she told me how much it hurt her. I felt rude telling her that maybe she should reevaluate her decisions. I felt almost guilty... Today I realized why I felt that way. For the past few weeks I have been "leading people on," not as in flirting with them, but in the way that I had been lying to them (and myself) in a unapparent way. I had been showing a wall to them, giving them the attitude I get when I push someone away. My silence had become so great and so obvious that it was loud enough for the world to notice. I wasn't accepting everyone or loving them for the sole reason of loving them. I wasn't sharing, I wasn't unselfish, I was being downright and undeniably the same thing I told myself I'd never become.

Love. Not a word. Not just showing compassion. Not simply dying for someone who is of value to you. Something more. Something deep. Like the depth of an ocean, your actions should mirror what your heart *should* feel, ten times the depth of the deepest ocean. Tsunamis are a natural part of peoples' lives, but don't let your waters become salty and make you bitter and hurtful to the wounds of others. You may not like it when someone talks bad about you, or say something that is untrue, you may not like someone for the way that they are, their beliefs, or their personality, but don't let love become just a physical act. Make it emotional and spiritual. Do not simply love those closest to you, reach out for those who need it the most. Teach them that "I love you" is simply not saying so, but doing so as well.

Life can be difficult but instead of taking your bad day out on someone, act upon your anger and frustration with love and compassion. Take the time to let others know you really love them, don't just say it. Show it.

All in all, I learned something valuable. I heard God speak to me, and I wanted to share my new depth of knowledge. Because today in age, love has become a superficial, shallow part of life. Love those who wrong you in any way. Love people who are selfish, unkind, rude, impatient, and all sorts of evil. Feel compassion for those who don't know or refuse the truth. Don't shove topics down their throats. Build a friendship. Share. Love unceasingly. Don't ever stop loving someone simply because they hurt you. Love never ends.

Well That pretty much sums up my thoughts. Goodnight or Goodday (Depending on the time you read this). =]